Clay pot with dumb drain hole $1.27 at Home Depot
Creeping Fig (Ficus pumila) from cuttings - Free
2-liter recycled soda bottle sub-irrigated planter -SIP (aka "self-watering") inside clay cachepot (perfect fit) - Free
Now you can be in compliance (sort of) with Martha, all the houseplant books and the USDA extension program. It's your secret and I'm sure not gonna tell on you.
It's a little secret between you and your houseplants...and they'll love you for it.
Save water, save time watering, save your houseplants, save your mind!